help. my insides are leaking.

You might not think it to look at me, but apparently I have a leaky gut. Here I have been thinking I had high blood pressure (you would not think that to look at me either), but it appears not. Instead I have increased intestinal permeability. Actually that's not entirely true either. I do have high blood pressure, but it might not be the problem so much as a symptom of another problem.

The ongoing saga of my blood pressure came to yet another head when I started feeling awful a couple of weeks ago. The world began spinning in a most disconcerting manner, my skull seemed to have doubled in size and weight, the pressure in my head was immense, my pulse bounded strongly in my abdomen and I just wanted to sleep, sleep, sleep. The sleep thing is nothing new - I always want to sleep, but generally save it up for after 10pm. At work I felt seedy and asked someone to check my BP. Yup. High. 148/100. This sent me into my usual 'oh my goodness, I'm sick, how come I have a chronic disease' tail spin, not helped by the nearby doctor suggesting I gulp down a few beta blockers - not the kind of drugs one really wants to be mucking around with. I spent the next two days feeling stressed and scared as I stared down the barrell of an inevitably shortened life expectancy and no possible way to prevent it.

OK. Stop right there!
Shortened life expectancy and no way to prevent it?

What melodramatic drivel with no basis in reality! Hypertension can be managed, prevented, controlled! So I took a deep breath, started looking at the situation with fresh eyes, found a natropath and made an appointment.

Today was the big day. I dutifully refrained from drinking alcohol in the evening (why is it that when you are instructed to refrain from something you automatically want to do it - I rarely drink alcohol but it was all I could do to hold myself back from imbibing a glass last night), ate my high protein beef burger for tea and this morning captured my second void of the day for a urinary indican test.

I felt kind of strange going to a natropath... aren't they, like, of the devil or something? Quacks? A little dodgy and soft around the edges? As it turns out, this natropath was very nice, listened to my concerns, tested my urine, administered a zinc tally test, and came up with a plausible hypothesis for my problems - leaky gut.

It sounds kinds of strange, this leaky gut - is my abdomen full of oozing, dripping, seeping mush? Is free fluid floating between the folds of my bowell? Are my ovaries bathed in juice? Apparently not. Leaky gut has to do with what moves from the gut into the blood. Normally only small digested particles cross the lining of the bowell. In leaky gut syndrome, 'bad bugs', parasites, stress and other triggers cause the gut to become more permeable. Large particles, or toxins, that would normally be prevented from moving into the blood sneak their way through the bigger holes and mosey on down to the liver. The poor old liver does its best to deal with these imposters but soon finds its cleansing resources overwhelmed by the sheer volume of nastiness. It ships the toxins off around the body, fully intending to retrieve them later and sort them out when everything has calmed down a little. Only it never really does calm down. Toxins just keep on rolling in, building up around the body, potentially causing immune responses or (at best) just getting in the way of the body's normal functioning. And so one begins to feel headaches, dizziness, fatigue, stress, PMT, anxiety and so on. The list of related problems is fairly lengthy.

It sounds reasonable to me, but the jury is out on whether this is all fact or fiction. For now, I'll try it. The natropath took my blood pressure and it was high, although not dangerously so. Then she had me close my eyes and imagine myself in a relaxing place. I was transported to the beach, face turned into the wind, breathing in the freshness. Bingo. My blood pressure dropped down to normal! I was impressed, but still felt dizzy and had a headache, indicating hypertension is not the cause of all my symptoms. So why not give this alternative therapy a try? If it brings my blood pressure back to normal and saves me living on medications for ever it will have been worth it.

The question is, what must I do to restore my leaky gut to its usual semi-permeable state? Detox, zinc supplement and a couple of interesting looking herbal remedies that kill any bad bugs and parasites dead. In three weeks I go back for another urine test to see if there is any improvement before restocking my gut with probiotics. The natropath anticipates I will rapidly begin to feel better.

So tomorrow I begin the cleansing process. I was hoping detox wouldn't be part of the deal - I've always seen it as a bit extreme - but it doesn't look like being too arduous. Cutting out most of the chemicals from our diet means I'm more than half way there already. I don't drink caffeine, rarely have alcohol, and have been reducing my sugar intake for some time. Now I just need to cut out dairy and wheat for a few weeks.

I might not end up looking any different, but I'm hoping that with all this effort (and expense!) I'll be feeling on top of the world in a very short period of time. Fingers crossed! I'll keep you posted.

can I have another piece of chocolate cake?

I decided today was the day to phone for my blood results.

First I ate the final mini Crunchie given to me by a kind neighbour, in case my cholesterol indicated the need to immediately forego chocolaty pleasure.

Next I made the phone call: Total Lipids 4.5 (this is good), HDL or good lipids 1.9 (this is excellent), LDL or bad lipids 2.3 (this is a little high but in view of the other results being so good I don't need to worry).

Last I celebrated with some well earned chocolate.

Oh OK, I made that last bit up, but to my friend who thinks I eat too much chocolate - there is no way on God's green earth that I can give up on it for six weeks! Besides, I'm hardly dizzy anymore.

On another positively chocolaty note, I found this advertisement in our drug book at work the other day. (Stay on the home page for a full overview of the benefits of chocolate)

The health benefits of chocolate being advertised in a drug book? What is the world coming to? Obviously something good! I just want to know who likes dark chocolate that much, and who ever eats only two pieces per day?

And I'm loving the disclaimer - I have no doubt it was written for people just like me.

hope for the future

I went to the doctor today and he was in fact alright - kind of weird that he kind of knew me, but alright. He restrained himself from inviting me to become an Amway dealer or Melaleuca saleswoman, however he could not resist telling me about a good environmental website. He also listened well enough (although when he suggested I should eat more regularly I felt he had missed the whole point of this dizziness being uncommonly strange) and ordered a raft of tests.

In case you're medically minded: (If you're not medically minded and find this kind of thing boring (Mum) skip to the next paragraph!)

• ECG - normal
• BSL - 3.9 as a result of late lunch due to GP running almost an hour late (thus the 'eat more often' comment)
• BP - 144/92 (yes, that's high, but not life threateningly so)
• Urinalysis - positive for ketones (due to muscle breakdown as a result of late lunch)
• Ears - no comment so I'm assuming they were OK
• Blood tests including lipids and thyroid - to be attended tomorrow morning before breakfast

True to form, I started feeling better this afternoon (about the time Robyn phoned and told me I should stop driving immediately if I'm dizzy!), although the dizziness has come back a little now, along with a headache.

When I went to aqua aerobics a few of the ladies were talking about a nasty flu that's going around and causing a lot of dizziness. Chances are this has all been a virus and I panicked for no reason. So I'm a nurse. And I've heard of younger and younger patients having strokes and dying of heart attacks lately. I wanted to cover all my bases.

Anyway, it appears I am not dying. Which is good because tomorrow I have two interviews for school chaplaincy positions. Both for primary schools, one in quite a poor area of the city.

I'm very excited and decided this was just cause for a new outfit - had to get the look right you know. Not too dressed up (need to look as if I'm relaxed and easy to relate to), not too casual (have to look reliable), not too trendy (don't want to look like a try hard), not too drab (yes, I can relate to children and their peer pressures). So I've gone for three quarter black pants, white singlet top and cute little cornflower blue short sleeved cardi. Noice. Now I just need to convince Frank the purchases were absolutely necessary!

I must away and prepare my answers for any possible questions!

healthy determination

Today was a repeat of yesterday. Dizzy head, came home, lay around doing nothing, still feeling dizzy. With a few minor differences.

• I got daring and had someone check my blood pressure at work. Yes it's high.
  

• I cried because high BP puts me at risk of having a stroke. (Such a nurse) This is a scary thought. I'm also feeling fed up with the constant sensation of keeling to the left as if I will fall over. I'm also dreading the prospect of antihypertensive medication should it be required. (I don't think my crying and hyperventilation did anything to help reduce the BP either)
  

• I made an appointment at the GP tomorrow. Even better, I made an appointment with a different GP than last time. Unfortunately I kind of know him and find his attempts to enlist Frank in his latest multilevel marketing venture somewhat annoying. But it was the only appointment I could get at short notice in the practice I want to sign up to! Hopefully this new GP will be more helpful and concerned.
  

• I went for a big, fast walk. Actually it wasn't such a big walk, but it was more than I usually do. I was inspired by my friend who told me about her friend who has quite high blood pressure but manages to control it with exercise. My head felt dizzy for most of the walk, as if I might fall over with every step, but I made it around the circuit of streets I selected.

There is some progress here. It strikes me as ridiculous to know what might be wrong with me but do nothing about it. Even more ridiculous to know how to fix the problem but make no moves in that direction. So I'm lifting the head out of the sand and working towards managing my health more effectively.

nablopononono

Four days to go and nablopomo seems to have caught up with me.

Not that I've run out of things to say. Still going strong there. But I'm not well and I suspect NaBloPoMo has contributed.

I had the whole dizzy head thing again, but dragged myself off to work anyway. When I arrived we were overflowing with staff (very rare) so I asked to be able to go home sick and my wish was granted! I ended up sleeping for four hours this morning, bumming around doing nothing all afternoon and I'm about to crash into bed early tonight too.

This dizzy head thing - what is it? High blood pressure again (I can feel my pulse in my chest and abdomen when I'm just lying down, so quite possible)? Or something less sinister? I found out today there is a form of migraine that manifests itself as dizziness/vertigo?

Whatever the cause, it is most disconcerting to continually feel that I am keeling over to the side. I promise I shall try and go to the GP this week. In the meantime, I need to stop cramming late night writing into the cracks of my life when I really should be sleeping. Thank goodness there are only four days to go. In fact three after this post! Yay.

blogging just might be good for you...

My stress levels have taken a hike in the last couple of days and I'm putting it down to recommencing study. It could also have to do with a trip to Newcastle this weekend during which I hope to avoid seeing one particular person. Actually two people.

But let's say I'm stressed because of study - altogether more easy to deal with and certainly true. I don't know how I'm ever going to complete four assignments, all over 2000 words, in two months, and that's without the readings!

It's providential then, that in the midst of all my stress (breathe Cecily, breathe) my very first reading* is about the physiological effects of stress. Actually - it's scary more than providential. Hormones that mediate the stress response also promote high blood pressure, atherosclerosis, cancer, diabetes and abdominal fat stores.

I need to find a way to control my stress. Fast. (And while I'm at it do you think I could kick that adrenalin addiction too?!)

Fortunately the reading goes on to report on successful stress management techniques... coping skills, exercise, relaxation, meditation, mindfulness, cognitive behavioural therapy. And emotional expression with others, such as laughing, crying, singing, friendships and creative expression such as art and writing...

Did you catch that? Writing?

That means (are you thinking what I'm thinking?)... blogging reduces stress!

Perfect. Now I won't have to stop blogging while I'm studying. I'll need to write to ease my tension.


*Bambling, M. 2006. "Mind, body and heart: Psychotherapy and the relationship between mental and physical health" in Psychotherapy in Australia. 12(2); 52-59.

the small, small world of cecily

My world has shrunk to the size of a blood pressure reading, which is a very small world indeed!

The other day I measured 160/100, which was rather freaky. If I was one of my patients I would have hit panic stations and called the doctors for a speedy review. As it is, I'm not one of my patients, so I kept on doing what I was doing. (It would seem that I would be better off if I was one of my patients!)

Where has this come from? What have I done to evoke such pressures? (Robyn, please don't answer that question!)

The more I think about it, the more my head spins; the more my head spins, the more I think about it. A vicious cycle if ever there was one.

So piece by piece I am deconstructing my life to identify any incriminating cause of high blood pressure.

• Ditch the pill. 5% of women develop serious hypertension from the humble, freeing oral contraceptive pill, and this is more likely if other female family members also suffer from hypertension. Unfortunately it takes six months for blood pressure to return to normal!

• Water, water, water. Chronic dehydration can cause compensatory hypertension. I rarely drink enough and every morning wake with a gravelly mouth. I am now guzzling gallons.

• Celery. As little as four sticks of celery can reduce blood pressure by 10mmHg. I've eaten six so far.

• Sugar must go. Apparently, through a complicated hormonal cascade, sugar can cause hypertension. I'm totally addicted to the stuff. Totally. I try to kick it, but can't. So I'm cutting back slowly... and while we're thinking about sugar, does chocolate fall into the sugar category? I think it has more fat than sugar, so can I keep eating a little bit please?

• Relaxation, relaxation, relaxation. Usually when I get up in the morning I check everyone's blogs... most of you write while I'm sleeping, so there's lots to catch up on! No more. This morning I engaged in meditation and a relaxation exercise. The computer screen remained completely blank and my day got off to a better start. Not that your blogs are bad or anything...

• Quit the 'shoulds'. I'm driven by all the things I should be doing. Not only should I be doing them, but I should be doing them perfectly. I know it is ridiculous to demand this of myself, but I demand it anyway. I think somewhere along the way I read the little piece of information pictured below and swallowed it whole. Now I try and live up to some outrageous, unattainable standard in every arena of my life. Get over it Cecily. Let it go darlin'!
  

• STOP! Mostly I think I just need to forget about it all! I'm practicing thought stopping every time my mind spins off on another blood pressure cycle and I'm working on talking about it less. (That's a tough one - I love a good story, and this is a good one!) To that end, I will not write anymore blogs about high blood pressure - at least not until I think of something else to say about it!

OK, I'll leave it there. More good things to work on. Mostly I'm going to work on enjoying life. (Easier said than done - even coffee with friends is added to the 'to-do' list because I'm so busy!)

Relish the beauty. Treasure the richness. Love wildly. Live gladly. Rejoice freely. Cherish dearly. Delight in all that is me and the one who made me!

10 ways to reduce high blood pressure

I'm still alive.

My head is not quite as dizzy today. It helps to have finished my first Uni assignment.

I am adjusting to the label 'hypertension sufferer' - but I'm determined to dump it ASAP.

Here's a potential plan:

1. Quit study.
2. Quit work.
3. Quit church.
4. Quit the pill.
   
5. Exercise for 30 minutes five times three times a week. If I have time. After working through plans 1 to 4 my blood pressure should be below normal anyway.
   
6. Eat four sticks of celery a day. And one clove of garlic. And half an onion.
7. Eat not just 2, not just 5, but 10 serves of fruit and vegetables each day. Is this on top of all the celery, garlic and onion? Because I haven't got past the chocolate yet today. It stimulates the release of relaxing endorphins and that's got to be good for reducing high blood pressure...
   
8. Identify and change the way I respond to stressful situations... slow down, relax and take life with gentleness and humour in order to reduce stress hormone levels.
9. Drink Hawthorn tea. Interestingly, I have a hawthorn bar from China in the cupboard... I might start munching on that.
10. Quit blogging. NO! I can't do it! Scratch that one out!! I'll do all the others, but not that one!

Hang on... I don't want to eat half an onion a day... and Hawthorn tea? What is this? A conspiracy?

I think I need to come up with another plan...

the body speaks

I have had quite a dizzy head for the last few days.

This isn't particularly unusual - it's been happening for a couple of years now, maybe even longer. Mostly I've put it down to low blood sugar levels. I tend to get the shakes if I drink coffee or eat too much sugar, and the two together reduce me to jelly-like mush!

I've become so accustomed to episodes of dizziness that mostly I don't think anything of it. I cut down on sugar, avoid coffee and get on with life. Occasionally I wonder if there is something seriously wrong with me, but I'm loathe to harass a GP about a symptom so vague as dizziness. And everyone knows nurses are hypochondriacs: got a headache? Could be a stroke about to happen! Heart burn? Careful, might be a heart attack, not just indigestion. And that pain in the knee? Hmmm, sounds like a tumour... I have to remind myself that I probably don't have every disease known to humankind, despite nursing nearly all of them at some point or other!

So there I was at work on Wednesday when I felt like I was going to fall over. I grabbed hold of a railing to steady myself, breathed deeply and then kept walking. Despite eating good food the dizzy head remained, so I took my blood pressure.

It was 140/90.

140/90? Me? High blood pressure?

I shouldn't be too surprised, it runs in the females of my family - but me with high blood pressure? I'm a healthy person. Really. I am!

The next morning my BP was even higher - and I'm sure a good dose of anxiety pushed it up even further after that discovery. No amount of deep breathing or relaxing did anything to calm my heart!

Time to harass the GP. High BP is not a vague symptom!

Of course my BP was lower when she took it - still high, but not as bad! I then sat and paid for 25 minutes of being informed that young people with high BP are not treated unless they have kidney failure. (We checked my urine - I do not have kidney failure) On and on she went, telling me everything I already knew, advising me to exercise more, suggesting I get a cleaner to reduce my stress levels (I admit my ears pricked up then), and generally making me feel like an idiot for being concerned that my BP has jumped enormously.

I came home with mixed feelings - she was so patronising and dismissive of my concerns that I couldn't help being annoyed. At the same time I figured I may as well stop worrying - high BP only becomes an issue when it is ridiculously high or goes on too long, neither of which is my problem.

But today my head has been dizzy since lunch time. I walked for 4o minutes and felt like I was going to pass out most of that time. I keep getting anxious chills running through me. I'm wound up like a top. I might need a second opinion!

Sigh... I think my body is telling me to slow down and relax more. I might have to stop blogging and striving for more readers... now there's a scary thought!