Thankyou for all your kind, kind comments. I've slept well through two nights since that hideous night but I still think about it all quite a bit. I don't think I'm being too harsh on myself - it's a nursing tendency to minimise the trauma of what we experience because, well, we're nurses. That is what we do. We should be fine with that. We know what comes with the territory. Thus I expected to go home and sleep reasonably OK and go back to work the next night. Since that didn't happen I am taking time to reflect, journal and cry and acknowledge the trauma and sadness. I'd love to tell you more, but both are coroner's cases and patient confidentiality also limits me. Suffice to say that I don't think anything we could have done would have changed the outcome in either case.
To lift the mood, or hide the pain in triteness, here's a meme Robyn
tagged me for.
1.WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My mother's father. His name was Cecil.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Yesterday. (See previous post!) I cry a lot, especially when I'm tired. I'm nearly always tired. Not big weeps all the time of course, just lots of watery eyes, little sniffs...
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I love my handwriting. It stems from a heated competitiveness with another girl in Year 8 as we attempted to out-hand-write each other. Ridiculous I know, but it paid off in the end!
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Wallaby and Sundried Tomato Salami from my favourite butcher down the road.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Only on my good days. I'd steer clear of me on my bad days.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM ALOT?
I always remember someone saying 'sarcasm is the lowest form of wit'. That being said, I use it more than I would like to but not in huge amounts.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
No. But I'd love to parachute or paraglide. Accompanied of course.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No. But I feel guilty when I don't and I promise myself that if I ever have children I will start undoing the laces then! I also have a friend with a well trained child who undoes her laces, so I try hard to remember to untie them at her place.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Coffee or anything with berries or peppermint. Thank goodness for two scoops, that's all I can say!
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their wedding ring. Nah... probably their face but I'm pretty slick with getting a glance at the wedding finger. No idea where that tendency comes from!
15. RED OR PINK?
Well, it depends what shade of red or pink you know... probably a nice dusky pink, although I wear both.
16. WHAT IS THE THING THAT YOU LIKE LEAST ABOUT YOURSELF?
My teeth, my skin, my too-often-nasty tongue, my... oh, I'll stop there.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
After travelling the world and moving every two years as I child there is no way I could choose one person I miss most... I miss lots and lots of people.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Hahaha... right now I'm sitting in a pretty green and pink flowered cotton camisole because I'm obsessed with blogging and am doing this before I even think about getting dressed.
20. HAVE YOU EVER RE-GIFTED?
I can't remember specifically doing it, though I have passed them on to the opshop. In fact I'm about to pass a few things on this year. (Nothing you gave me Mum, don't worry!)
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Birds tweeting happily in the cool morning air and people driving past to work.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Right now, Desert Sand... I resorted to this list
! Otherwise I would have just said, I don't know, yellow cos it's cheerful?!
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Freshly mown grass and the smell of the earth as it just starts to rain. Haven't smelt either for ages, since we've had no rain and the sheep eat all the grass!
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
A random lady who just rang the wrong number 10 minutes ago.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yes. Of course. Even if I didn't think she was reading I'd still say I like her! I like her a lot. :-)
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
27. HAIR COLOR?
Dark Brown, with an ever increasing sprinkle of grey.
28. EYE COLOR ?
Blue as the blue sky.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No. But I have three pairs of glasses.
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Totally mood driven. Right now it's fresh fruit and vegetables because it's hot, but catch me on another day and it might be Thai, Moroccan, Indian, Italian...
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS ?
Happy endings. I don't even bother watching the scary movies... I just get up and walk away anyway. Besides, aren't movies all about escaping reality? Happy endings do it for me every time.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Downfall. A war movie with a moderately happy ending... Frank's choice OK! We hired five movies (totally over watching them all by the end of it) and I chose three, Frank chose two. We liked all of them.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
I'm not wearing a shirt. (Don't worry, I am clothed! See above.)
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Spring? Can I say that? And autumn? I get totally tired of each season by the end of it and am very glad to see the new one as it rolls in.
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs in public. Unless it's a child.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Tiramisu... no, no... raspberries with vanilla icecream... no, no... self saucing chocolate pudding... um, no... fruitsalad... hang on a minute... baked lemon cheesecake... no, maybe it's... I think I just like dessert!
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The Secret Message of Jesus, by Brian McLaren, The Song and the Truth by Helga Ruebsamen, Sex God by Rob Bell, The Arcanum by Janet Gleeson
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Don't have a mouse pad, just use the little thing on my laptop
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
Nature sounds... bubbling streams, nice birdsong, waves
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
44. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Technically England is about as far away as you can get from Australia isn't it? But in terms of feeling a long way from home, Kazakhstan and Tajikistan because it was so hard to get there. I felt completely cut off from everything.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I'm so multitalented I couldn't possibly choose...
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
OK, if you made it to the end of that consider yourself tagged!
Labels: meme, nursing