i’m stuck at home so may as well blog

Here we all are, at home to keep COVID-19 at bay.

Such a strange turn of events, I don’t seem much able to get my head around it.

I mean I understand it, of course. A new coronavirus jumped across to humans in China towards the end of November last year, and we have no immunity to it so it’s spreading rapidly from person to person, and many people have a mild illness, but some people develop a severe illness that means they need hospital and may even die, and because so many of us will catch this novel virus, that means lots of people will need hospitalisation and our health systems may well be overwhelmed, in fact that is what is happening in Italy, Spain, the UK, and the USA. So to stop the health system in Australia from being oversubscribed, we are all ordered to stay home to slow the spread of the virus so less people need hospital all at once.

It all makes sense, and I’m happy to stay at home to ‘flatten the curve’. I certainly don’t mind having extra time to do lots of jobs I never usually get to. Like today, I pulled the plastic cover off the dining table and scrubbed both sides of it and sat it in the sun to dry. An excellent job to do. I was hoping the sun would flatten it out a bit so we have less annoying lumps on the table. But it’s April and the sun isn’t really strong enough for that these days. I’m still glad I tried though. It’s been on my list of things to do for a long time. Extra time at home isn’t all bad.

But I still can’t get my head around it.
 
I admit to being a little bit happy capitalism is getting a kick up the butt. The government is throwing fists full of money around to keep the economy ticking over. Please don’t think too much about how they are doing it in a way that still says the economy is king, using businesses as their vehicle to get the money out there rather than giving it straight to the people. Turn a blind eye to the insistence commercial landlords support commercial tenants, while there is minimal assistance for residential tenants. And best to ignore the way they are still racist and pejorative in their treatment of people from other lands... Just try and focus on how good it is that they are recognising people need money. I mean, they’ve (temporarily) increased Newstart to a figure that makes living more achievable! Haven’t they even changed the name of the payment to “Jobseeker”? They’ve decided people without jobs aren’t all bad, they’re just a victim of these cursed COVID-19 circumstances. They’ve had to make some pretty dramatic shifts in ideology to help people get through these crazy times and I love it.

But I can’t get my head around it!

I’ve been trying to do my bit to help other people keep going. Can you imagine being a restaurant or cafe and all of a sudden your business is entirely lost? Crazy, crazy stuff. So we’ve upped our takeaway intake to support those incredible businesses that have been flexible and adaptable and creative and innovative. They amaze me with their ingenuity and fleet footed decision making. But it’s weird you know - driving through dark, quiet streets with so few cars on the road. Parking right out front of the eatery before ducking in quickly and keeping our distance from each other.

What the hell? How did we end up like this? I still can’t get my head around it.

And at home. Schooling... or something. Work... or something. This isn’t what I signed up for!

My head gets it all. I totally understand. But my heart, my feelings, my soul? All stuck back in that other life, pre-COVID-19. Sure, there are things I hope change because of this, so many things. But I feel like I’m spinning on my axis and can’t stop and get my balance. Everything is out of whack and I’m OK and not OK all at once.

Will I ever get my head around it?