just in case you aren't consuming enough already (aka 'we know you're stupid and will want to buy this')

Christmas must be just around the corner... our letter box is literally stuffed with catalogues every day. I must put that 'no junk mail' sticker out, although the depressing thing about that is, even if I do, the trees have already been chopped down and the catalogues printed. Sigh.

I don't even look at most of them - straight to the recycling bin they go - but a couple recently came personally addressed to me, and I found myself flicking lazily through them.

There's some winning items out there, some designed specifically for me I'm sure. I mean, how did they know I can't reverse park? This parking sensor is exactly what I need - when I get too close to a car or gate post it will alarm loudly enough for everyone in the street to hear, and then they can guide me safely into the space. Perfect.

And this one. A dental care set? I don't ever have to visit a dentist again? I can do it myself with the aid of three simple tools! Genius. How come I never thought of that one?!

Frank was pretty taken with this one, him being a neat freak and all. Our garden will be so tidy now. Gotta love that. (I particularly like that you can hide the hose with the flowering lid. Nifty)

I can't shuffle cards to save my life (makes for very boring games of UNO), so here's another useful invention...

Frank's in line for this gorgeous personalised alarm clock - ooh yeah!

I can now be as lazy as I like with this one:

And for all of you completely lacking in imagination, and unable to stick a bottle of sauce upside down in a glass (or even the fridge door, for goodness sake!), I have a super deal for you. Plastic moulded to meet your need for just $6.90. Who cares that we've filled the whole earth with plastic - you need this one, I'm sure.

Here in Australia we've moved past winter (at last!) and are enjoying sunny, warm, delicious days. At least they're delicious in Tasmania - it sounds like they are a little too hot in other parts of the country. Whichever, we won't be needing any snugly blankets any time soon, but in the northern hemisphere I'm sure you could put this one to good use - and look stylish at the same time as keeping toasty warm.

The final item I have carefully selected for you this evening is this pièce de résistance. An entertainers dream, this buffet warmer will keep your whole Christmas dinner warm. Or that cooked breakfast for the entire family. Or even a whole week's supply of food, if you live on your own. Your cooking will be transformed by this modern marvel of the kitchen world. Buy it today and find freedom.

What a load of crap. I look at all this and cringe for the environment. We're just filling up every remaining space with plastic. The world is our rubbish dump.

Excuse me please while I go and throw all these junky catalogues in the (recycling) bin!

life in a small town ii

Living in a small city is sometimes a chore and at other times a delight. Take tonight for instance. I phoned the Avon lady to place an order. (Before you judge me too harshly for ordering Avon, I order small amounts infrequently. This Avon lady is so nice I feel obliged to order occasionally to acknowledge her niceness. Thus my order tonight.)

So I phoned up and our conversation roamed over religion, mosquitos, the Koran, airport travel, euthanasia, living sustainably and donating to charity - and that was before we even made it to the order. I confess I slipped into an old habit of offering well timed 'aha's as I cruised around the internet. I don't know how long she we talked for in the end, but it was over half an hour. Somewhere in there I believe we completed the order correctly!

It's like that here. Some of my best friends are shop keepers. If you return to the same homey specialty store over and over again to fulfill the endless requirements for life's little essentials (since I am trying to avoid money hungry corporations I find myself more and more often in these homey stores) quality, personal service comes with a gentle progression of relationship. First all is politely professional. Then a hello with a hint of recognition siddles its way in. This progresses to remembering first names and asking how one is (an exchange no doubt aided by repeatedly seeing a name on the oft presented credit card). The final stage of the cash register friendship is intimate conversation over the fruit and vegetables or meat or carefully selected gift. I have attained this level of relationship with the green grocers, butcher, beautician, Oxfam manager, grain grocer, second hand bookshop proprieter, restauranteur and purveyor of fine gifts. With friends like these, who needs real friends?!

Truly, life on a small island is charmed. Naturally contained by the ever-so-close shores but none-the-less charmed. And this new relationship with the Avon lady? So it skipped a step or two, but really? It makes me chuckle and feel happy to live in a small place where people still care and have time to be friendly. Very friendly.

thinking long and hard about it

I looked at a pair of jeans in a shop yesterday and nearly succumbed. I say 'nearly succumbed' because I have been buying fewer and fewer clothes lately. I don't need them, and while I may not be the world's most fashionable person, my clothes are decent, serviceable and practical. Maybe too practical... the older I get the less I care about frills and furbelows. Sometimes I wonder if I am becoming down right dumpy. Then I remember the world is in a mess because we have shopped to excess, dressed to the nines and been generally myopic in outlook. So what will it be - dowdy or dead from all the nightmares we have created as a society?

So I looked at the jeans before turning away with a sigh. I do not need them. I will learn to curb the excesses of my lifestyle.

Tonight I just found this article relating, among other things, the health hazards factory workers face in producing jeans with the latest stress marks, dyes and faded patches. Maybe I'll never buy another pair of jeans again. Or I'll buy a suitably classic style that will last me for years in order to prevent myself from contributing to the injustices these people face.