this staying home thing could be transformational

Somewhere along the way I taught my little guy about savouring. I don’t remember when exactly, and I’m not particularly good at doing it myself, but it was a lesson he took to heart. Often, just as I’m about to gobble down my last delicious mouthful of honey-drenched crumpet, he will look reproachfully at me over the top of his quarter-eaten, jam-covered crumpet and say, “Cec! You didn’t savour it!” And I will guilty admit that, indeed, I did not savour it, before praising him up for his excellent savouring skills. He often blows me away with his ability to hold back, hold on, delay gratification and relish every little morsel of his sweet treats. It is surely remarkable for a boy his age to be able to do that? At least I find it remarkable.

Savouring has to be a perfect example of mindfulness, doesn’t it, if mindfulness is deliberately choosing to notice something? Savouring is taking the time to be very present in the moment and feel all the feels - the tastes, the sights, the smells, the sounds - and appreciate them. (That would be the main difference to mindfulness. Mindfulness suspends judgement and notices what is, without deciding whether it is good or bad. Savouring adds an element of pleasure to the noticing.) Savour - squeeze every last drop of goodness out of the moment and hold it close to your heart. It’s a way to identify the good that is around us when sometimes we can’t see it through the mess of life.

I am reading Julia Baird’s book “Phosphoresence. On awe, wonder & things that sustain you when the world goes dark.” (Could there be a more appropriate book for this time. Or a more beautiful cover?!). She sees savouring as one way of getting through dark times. And there’s research to prove it. There is also research that shows the richer people are, the less likely they are to savour life’s pleasures. Julia Baird quotes Jordi Quiodbach: “experiencing the best things in life... may actually mitigate the delight one experiences in response to the more mundane joys of life, such as sunny days, cold beers and chocolate bars.” Or as Julia puts it, “a sense of pleasure can be dulled over time by repitition and abundance”. Too much of a good thing means we stop enjoying the good things.

Which makes me wonder if our enforced isolation might present us with an opportunity, not just a loss. I’m putting this out there tentatively, because I know I write from a place of safety and privilege. For many, isolation is placing them under stress and in danger. I do not want to minimise the horror and upheaval of this time.

But for those of us whose needs are met at this time, maybe our senses will be heightened by this isolation. Perhaps in being deprived of many of the things that give us pleasure and meaning, we can better savour the goodness of our lives. As our sensory overload is reduced, is it possible we will notice more, appreciate more, enjoy more? Not just when we are released from our homes and can sally forth into the world once more, but right here, right now in the four walls of our houses.

Maybe in staying home, we will rediscover some joy of living, right when we think much of the joy of life has been taken from us.

I hope so.

i’m stuck at home so may as well blog

Here we all are, at home to keep COVID-19 at bay.

Such a strange turn of events, I don’t seem much able to get my head around it.

I mean I understand it, of course. A new coronavirus jumped across to humans in China towards the end of November last year, and we have no immunity to it so it’s spreading rapidly from person to person, and many people have a mild illness, but some people develop a severe illness that means they need hospital and may even die, and because so many of us will catch this novel virus, that means lots of people will need hospitalisation and our health systems may well be overwhelmed, in fact that is what is happening in Italy, Spain, the UK, and the USA. So to stop the health system in Australia from being oversubscribed, we are all ordered to stay home to slow the spread of the virus so less people need hospital all at once.

It all makes sense, and I’m happy to stay at home to ‘flatten the curve’. I certainly don’t mind having extra time to do lots of jobs I never usually get to. Like today, I pulled the plastic cover off the dining table and scrubbed both sides of it and sat it in the sun to dry. An excellent job to do. I was hoping the sun would flatten it out a bit so we have less annoying lumps on the table. But it’s April and the sun isn’t really strong enough for that these days. I’m still glad I tried though. It’s been on my list of things to do for a long time. Extra time at home isn’t all bad.

But I still can’t get my head around it.
 
I admit to being a little bit happy capitalism is getting a kick up the butt. The government is throwing fists full of money around to keep the economy ticking over. Please don’t think too much about how they are doing it in a way that still says the economy is king, using businesses as their vehicle to get the money out there rather than giving it straight to the people. Turn a blind eye to the insistence commercial landlords support commercial tenants, while there is minimal assistance for residential tenants. And best to ignore the way they are still racist and pejorative in their treatment of people from other lands... Just try and focus on how good it is that they are recognising people need money. I mean, they’ve (temporarily) increased Newstart to a figure that makes living more achievable! Haven’t they even changed the name of the payment to “Jobseeker”? They’ve decided people without jobs aren’t all bad, they’re just a victim of these cursed COVID-19 circumstances. They’ve had to make some pretty dramatic shifts in ideology to help people get through these crazy times and I love it.

But I can’t get my head around it!

I’ve been trying to do my bit to help other people keep going. Can you imagine being a restaurant or cafe and all of a sudden your business is entirely lost? Crazy, crazy stuff. So we’ve upped our takeaway intake to support those incredible businesses that have been flexible and adaptable and creative and innovative. They amaze me with their ingenuity and fleet footed decision making. But it’s weird you know - driving through dark, quiet streets with so few cars on the road. Parking right out front of the eatery before ducking in quickly and keeping our distance from each other.

What the hell? How did we end up like this? I still can’t get my head around it.

And at home. Schooling... or something. Work... or something. This isn’t what I signed up for!

My head gets it all. I totally understand. But my heart, my feelings, my soul? All stuck back in that other life, pre-COVID-19. Sure, there are things I hope change because of this, so many things. But I feel like I’m spinning on my axis and can’t stop and get my balance. Everything is out of whack and I’m OK and not OK all at once.

Will I ever get my head around it?