a big insight

My family decided to call me on speaker phone tonight. I like that. They were thinking of me while they were together and they wanted to share.

The only problem is, when people call me on the mobile on speaker phone, I can never hear properly. Voices are distant and muffled and fuzzy, and the only thing that comes through clearly is the laughter. And is that laughter directed at me? Are they laughing because they think it's funny I can't hear them? Is it all a big joke to make me look stupid? I feel nervous and embarrassed and I just want it to end.

Of course it wasn't a big joke. My family love me, they were thinking of me, they invited me to join the evening.

Thank you. I love you all too. (That is a very, very, very enormously big display of emotion right there. Read it and treasure it. It may not happen again for a very long time. That is the warped-ness of our family)

Suddenly, in a moment of blinding insight, I realised this must be what it is like for deaf people. Kind of getting the drift of what is happening, not really hearing, lip reading a bit he... damn, they turned away, seeing signs of laughing or sadness but perhaps not quite knowing why. So. cut. off.

A healthy moment of insight I feel. A sneak peek into another world.

So thank you for calling me on speaker phone... but please could you pass the phone around next time. I really did want to talk to you all!