Wednesday, December 12, 2007

dang! i've hit the wall

I think twelve months of neglect have caught up with me. I'm absolutely exhausted, although at least now my grumpiness has been replaced by tears.

I'm a mess. Confused, jumbled, higgledy piggledy, all at sea. I can't work out who I am or what I think or how I feel. I take back everything I said about the lack of poise of the mother in 'Songs of the Humpback Whale' for I have myself lost all my poise.

This I know:

It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to...
Life is a journey. This is just a dip in the road.
I do love my Dad. I need to work towards acceptance and forgiving.
Stuffing emotions and reactions down for twelve months is not healthy.
Self care throughout the year is essential for survival.

Here's to a more cheerful post next time. It is Christmas after all.

(Oh. That's something else I know. I don't like Christmas. Too many tricky negotiations)

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At 12:58 pm, December 13, 2007, Blogger Sandy's Notes said...

Gosh, what we both need is a girl's night out, or in, we could do the pj's thing and sip a bottle of wine. We could laugh, cry, and watch "It's a Wonderful Life".

Have you heard this? It's sure to make you cry even more.


At 3:19 pm, December 13, 2007, Blogger Angela said...

maybe i could join you two? i'll bring my almost empty bottle of wine and some cake?
is it just the season, the holiday that makes the regular blues feel all the more like failure for not being happy. ugh!
we're not alone. we're not alone. that should help.

At 7:15 pm, December 13, 2007, Blogger Mike S said...

You're all in good company. The stresses, extra demands for perpetual cheerfulness, the shortened days(N. Hemisphere), the memories of times past(both good and bad), and many other little things, conspire to make many otherwise cheery folks a tad glum this time of year. "Like all things, this too shall pass". Enjoy the wine:)

At 6:22 am, December 14, 2007, Blogger Cherie said...

Knock knock knock? May I join you? Please.....I have pumpkin cookies and chocolate...?? And jammies.

Same thing going on in this heart of mine. Hard to keep it jolly for the kids when I am a mess inside. Mike's words ring true - extra demands for perpetual cheerfulness. Ugh.

I love Christmas, I do, but I love when it's over better.

Hang in there, Cecily. Angela's mantra is a good one - we're not alone, we're not alone.

At 12:08 pm, December 14, 2007, Anonymous lyndsay said...

I will admit that I am in a can't be bothered mood leading up to Christmas, but it's summer (in Australia) and we should be happy that the sun is shining and Cecily you are on holiday's (Yeah!).

What you need to do is get all frocked up and I will see you tonight for some laughter and fun!!!


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