dreamin'

School's out, so it's one job down, two to go.

I love that 'cross things off the list' feeling as the year draws to a close. One by one, commitments fall away and I feel lighter and lighter. This year it is particularly poignant (for some strange reason, I love that word) as I am resigning from the hospital. I call it my maternity leave without the maternity. Or an early retirement. One way or another, I will find space in 2010.

Well, I might find space in 2010! I have a mental list a mile long of all the things I can fill my time with, starting with listening all day, every day to ABC Radio National. (But don't tell Frank. He's already a bit worried I'll sit around doing nothing with my time. I promised to only have the radio on in the background while I work hard on other things, like cleaning the mould off the weather boards, and weeding the garden)

One of my other dreams is to join a local musical society and start singing again. Since leaving church I've barely sung a note, except when I put Kelly Clarkson on, and then I belt out a few notes at full volume. Of course we're not just talking about a bit part here - I'm going for fame, auditioning for a part. No lowly choir for me.

Why is that? Why do I feel the need for a leading role? Why can't I just settle for a place in the choir?

I suppose because we live in a celebrity culture. It's not enough to enjoy myself singing in a group - I want recognition and fame and celebrity and adulation. When I realised this today, I decided I should probably find a little choir in which I can blend and contribute to the whole, rather than stand out in front receiving the glory. Better for my character. More real.

Radio, choirs... I wonder how the year will really turn out. However it goes, I'm really looking forward to it.