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Thursday, November 19, 2009

stop thinking about yourself all the time...

I'm not the happiest camper in the world at the moment. The world is full of babies and (in case you haven't noticed) not one of them is mine. This leaves me angry, desperate, dejected, insanely jealous, despairing and chewed up all at once. I am particularly angered by people's insensitive slights when they pay all sorts of inordinate amounts of attention to people who have just had babies but cannot even manage a hello in my direction.

I try to remind myself to look at all the incredible things I do have and be happier, but I can't seem to stop looking at the one thing I don't have, but want. I find myself avoiding anyone with children, even people I once spent a lot of time with. The parents all seem too smug and selfishly content for my liking, although I'm not sure if this is just my perception or reality. A few parent friends make it past my filtering system, not many mind, but there are a few. This makes me think it is not all me, because I can handle those ones but not all the others.

Anyway, in my effort to help myself feel so much better I thought I'd let you read about this inspiring story. Kurt Fearnley just crawled the entire Kokoda Track on his hands, dragging his crippled body behind him. I would also tell you about the conjoined twins separated in an epic operation, but they're babies and I'm trying to stop thinking about babies. I have to admit though, that this story makes me smile and cry just a little. How amazing they have a chance to live separately.

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3 Comments:

At 8:54 am, November 19, 2009, Blogger Robyn said...

I've been trying to think of a suitable response but there are some feelings that there aren't words adequate for so I'll leave it at: I'm so sorry, I love you and I'm praying...

 
At 5:13 pm, November 19, 2009, Blogger Cherie said...

I'm sorry, Cecily.

Much love to you, my friend.

 
At 2:51 pm, November 25, 2009, Anonymous deanna said...

You do so well, Cecily, at not complaining, when by rights you could post about this issue a lot more. I've complained so often over things involved in writing that I don't have. Blah, blah, me. You, on the other hand, do very well. Take care.

 

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