grump-a-plump (or 'it's not all about me, it's not all about me')
This is a miserable, sucky post written solely to fulfill NaBloPoMo requirements. You won't enjoy reading it, so please don't. I feel slightly better for airing my thoughts, but really, it's not worth the air space really.
I'm a bit down in the dumps. Frank and I are throwing a party this Friday night and our guests are dropping like flies. Actually some of them were never flying in the first place. After initially imagining we might be hosting 2o or more, right now we are struggling to scrape ten.
Now I know there are valid excuses for people not coming - kids, unexpected trips out of town, work Christmas parties on the same night - all good reasons to stay away. But I'm still feeling miffed, rejected, forgotten.
It's like this. Their reasons are valid, but they give me some idea where I fit into the order of their priorities. They feel constrained to choose to go elsewhere. They are free to make that choice, I can't deny that, but their choice tells me where I lie in their mental tally of importance. And it ain't near the top. (That's the voice of Cecily-in-the-dumps speaking!)
I have come up against this 'Cecily falls far down our priority list' scenario before. Take a friend for example. They were pregnant. I knew they were pregnant as other people kept asking me if I had heard from them. I had not but over the years I've learned most people who say 'We need to get in touch with you' really mean 'We are pregnant'. Finally, just as the rest of the world were told the exciting news, I received an email officially informing me. Yay. I'm happy for them, but I know where I fall in their order of priorities. And it ain't near the top.
Then there was the friend I invited to our wedding. She decided to work a locum position for lots more money than she could normally earn and so didn't come. I get that she needed to make money, and I can't judge that. But I know my place - and it ain't near the top.
OK, this is turning into one big long self pitying whine that I may well delete as soon as NaBloPoMo is over, so I'll stop here.
I suppose the important question I should ask is how am I prioritising other people? And just as people have the freedom to choose to slot me lower down their list of priorities (and let's face it... the world does not revolve around me) so I have the freedom to choose how to respond to this - mope or accept and move on?