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Monday, November 24, 2008

grump-a-plump (or 'it's not all about me, it's not all about me')

This is a miserable, sucky post written solely to fulfill NaBloPoMo requirements. You won't enjoy reading it, so please don't. I feel slightly better for airing my thoughts, but really, it's not worth the air space really.

I'm a bit down in the dumps. Frank and I are throwing a party this Friday night and our guests are dropping like flies. Actually some of them were never flying in the first place. After initially imagining we might be hosting 2o or more, right now we are struggling to scrape ten.

Now I know there are valid excuses for people not coming - kids, unexpected trips out of town, work Christmas parties on the same night - all good reasons to stay away. But I'm still feeling miffed, rejected, forgotten.

It's like this. Their reasons are valid, but they give me some idea where I fit into the order of their priorities. They feel constrained to choose to go elsewhere. They are free to make that choice, I can't deny that, but their choice tells me where I lie in their mental tally of importance. And it ain't near the top. (That's the voice of Cecily-in-the-dumps speaking!)

I have come up against this 'Cecily falls far down our priority list' scenario before. Take a friend for example. They were pregnant. I knew they were pregnant as other people kept asking me if I had heard from them. I had not but over the years I've learned most people who say 'We need to get in touch with you' really mean 'We are pregnant'. Finally, just as the rest of the world were told the exciting news, I received an email officially informing me. Yay. I'm happy for them, but I know where I fall in their order of priorities. And it ain't near the top.

Then there was the friend I invited to our wedding. She decided to work a locum position for lots more money than she could normally earn and so didn't come. I get that she needed to make money, and I can't judge that. But I know my place - and it ain't near the top.

OK, this is turning into one big long self pitying whine that I may well delete as soon as NaBloPoMo is over, so I'll stop here.

I suppose the important question I should ask is how am I prioritising other people? And just as people have the freedom to choose to slot me lower down their list of priorities (and let's face it... the world does not revolve around me) so I have the freedom to choose how to respond to this - mope or accept and move on?

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5 Comments:

At 5:51 am, November 25, 2008, Blogger Cherie said...

Feel better?

Sometimes a good grump yields good insight. A cleansing, balancing effect.

You are human, Cecily. It's okay to act like it.

:)

 
At 10:38 am, November 25, 2008, Blogger luke said...

It's unfortunate that you won't be able to delete your "big long self pitying whine" from the minds of those who read this as easily as you'll be able to delete it from your blog.

 
At 2:24 pm, November 26, 2008, Blogger Sandy's Notes said...

Complaining and whining is fine Cecily, you don't do it often, and you work hard at trying to balance things out. Don't let your dwindled invites get to you. Most of the time it's just bad timing.

So when is this dinner thing? If you're cooking one of those delicious meals, I would like to be there. Can I crash this party?

 
At 4:36 pm, November 26, 2008, Blogger Angela said...

awwww, cecily, i've been there. i hear you. i will defend the truth that sometimes life feels gross and it's ok to say so. i, for one, am alright with having this in my mind.
ra, ra, ra!

 
At 8:38 pm, November 26, 2008, Blogger cecily said...

Aw Angela... thanks! Brothers ey? And it wasn't even the one I was writing about who had his little rant.

Sandy... of course you can come! You can all come! It's a chocolate fondue party to raise money and awareness about slave labour in chocolate production.

Cherie... I'm not sure if I feel better or not. But today was a bit of a better day and I never can stay grumpy for too long! I think I'm actually really upset about other stuff in my life and it's spilling over. Oh well.

Luke... hey, thanks for the grumpy comment! You did provoke a 'morning after' review that led to a bit of an edit, so thanks for that. You're right in a way. But there's always two sides to everything and I've never really shied away from telling my side.

 

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