Monday, November 02, 2009

making a few decisions here

November already! Am I the only one wondering where on earth the rest of the year has gone? A few months were lost to the greyest, wettest winter I thought might never end. Then I guess there were six trips to the mainland, dozens of readings and a few assignments. Plus work, work and more work. Is it any wonder most of the year has already passed?

I didn't write any resolutions at the beginning of this year. I'm not sure I even made any general goals... I was in a bit of a slump at the time. As the year wore on, my unofficial task for 2009 became taking care of myself and finding my way again. I'm still more hypertensive than I'd like to be, and I've been having a crisis of confidence for a while now. So I sorted a few things out at the naturopath and tried to be generally nice to myself, but, since I'm really quite terrible at being nice to me, I've made minimal progress!

Enter the psychologist. I decided I needed to take the bull by the horns and deal with my insecurities and uncertainty about the future, so I booked in to see a psych. Together we nutted out my passions, the career options open to me and a path forward into new things. Over the course of three months I gained a little insight, and drew a few conclusions.

I am not passionate about nursing any more and would prefer to give it up. I don't really want to do one-on-one counselling, but I might be skilled enough to give it a go if the opportunity came up. I love working with children and want to explore how I could expand this role. I am creative and daring enough to quit my job, pilot a program and seek government funding for it.

So that's what I'm doing... kind of. I'm definitely resigning from my nursing position at Christmas. January will be time out, and then in 2010 I will seek out volunteering opportunities that give me a chance to work with kids and families and generally make a difference in the world. When things become clearer I may well apply for funding to run a program or two. We'll see what happens.

It's not quite as high risk as it all sounds - I'll still be working two days a week as a school chaplain. And nursing is a handy back up - there will always be work available in that one! I can pick up casual shifts, and if worse comes to worst, I can go back to it again.

All in all, I'm excited. Life suddenly has a whole load of potential again. I'm counting down the days until Christmas (not too closely mind you - I don't want to wish my life away!) and looking forward to 2010 big time!

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