Sunday, December 17, 2006

hanging in by a whisker

I am just coping with life at the moment.

Not in an extreme, fall apart, do myself damage kind of way, just in a 'how long must I hold myself upright' way. I am exhausted and I have been for months.

Not that I really help myself - blogging until late, rising early (and checking the blogosphere again. Are you proud of me - no blogs for two days?!), hectic scheduling, entertaining guests. On and on and on, always something doing.

At work I'm barely managing to do anything productive. Somewhere along the way, checking for comments on my blog started taking priority over real work! It got to the point that last week I had to ask Frank to keep me accountable. When he arrived home he was under strict instructions to check how many times I went on the internet for un-work related matters in one day. I was so proud when I could say 'none. zilch. zip. zero!' I got quite a lot done that day! But it didn't reduce the pain of the alarm the next morning. It called me from my dreams as shrilly as ever and propelled my brain into immediate action: 'It can't be a work day today! The alarm is wrong! Go back to sle... oh it is a work day. Get up Cecily.' And off I trundled for another dollar. Hopefully a well earned dollar.

So 4:30pm on December 21 is highlighted with flashing neon lights in my mind - the moment holidays begin! The minute I go into shutdown. Serious shutdown! We're not going go church, we're not seeing people...

Oh. Um. I just remembered I wouldn't mind catching up with some girlfriends! And there is the small matter of a pre-Christmas BBQ with my workamates.

OK, so we'll mostly be in serious shutdown. Just Frank and I, taking things quietly. Trips to the beach. A bush walk or two. (as long as there is some bush left that hasn't been burned to a crisp in the hideous fires) Movies galore. (Did you see the movie show tonight? Every single movie looked great!) It all sounds rather heavenly. If we can hold ourselves back from all the housework that beckons, we just might start 2007 feeling relaxed and refreshed.

Speaking of a relaxed and refreshed beginning to the new year, this is the first year for six years that I haven't packed up and moved house over the summer! That's got to add to the relaxation quotient! (Secretly, that was one of the big attractions of getting married, apart from my lovely husband of course! The chance to settle down and stay put)

So off I go to keep hanging in by a whisker.

(Christmas cards might push me over the edge, so if you don't receive one before Christmas - it's not you. It's me!)


At 1:24 am, December 18, 2006, Anonymous Sandy said...

Hang in there Cecily, it's going to slow down soon. Friday night after a very long day, I was so tired I felt sick to my stomach; so I went to bed. My husband came home and said he had to check to see if I was dead, because I didn't move while he turned lights on and walked around the room. It's okay to stop blogging if you feel the pressure, but if you go away, I won't know how you are? Weird isn't it? So, I'm thinking of you and wishing you and myself a day of rest. Sweet dreams!

At 6:23 am, December 18, 2006, Blogger Robyn said...

I will feel relief FOR you when its 4:30 on Dec 21! I hope you guys really do get a chance to take care of yourselves and each other and that you feel rejuvenated afterwards!

At 11:30 am, December 20, 2006, Anonymous Sandy said...

Thanks for your comments Cecily. Hope life has slowed down for you a little. Today was a productive day for me, but still looking forward to not worrying. I was thinking about Christmas: first, I think I think too much about it! Second, I realized that people treat Christmas like it's going to be the last day. If we don't get the cards out, wish our friends a happy holiday, have all the parties, then it's too late after. Like we were never going to see one another again. One time I sent my christmas cards out in January to let people know I was thinking of them. They didn't find it funny! Oh well, ho ho ho.

At 4:40 pm, December 21, 2006, Blogger Robyn said...

Hooray, hooray! Its a happy holiday!!! I'm so glad its after 4:30 today!! :)


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