argggghhhhhhh

Listen.
Did you hear it? That scream, long and continuous?
It's me. My internal scream. Life has gotten a little out of control this past, oh, eleven days.

I drove to a supper meeting this evening. Along the way the water in the harbour and river was still and perfect, casting beautiful reflections of the boats and hills and sky. The moon hung calmly in its place, not moving a centimetre, just observing as my car zoomed to the appointment. I wanted to stop right there in the traffic and drink in the scenery, let some of the water and moon's stillness seep into my heart and mind. But I didn't, I raced on and drank wine and discussed my new job.

The new job that might well be the source of the stress. That or Nablopomo... is it only strange coincidence, this increased stress of the last eleven days coinciding with the first eleven days of Nablopomo?! Or the job? The one that was going to be contained to four hours a month initially, but now incorporates a few additional counselling sessions? Could be both I suppose.

One thing I know for sure. That counselling session coming up on Thursday afternoon, the first professional counselling session of my life, the one in which a woman plans to bring her husband along for a dandy couple session (and everyone knows how difficult couple counselling can be, even for experienced therapists) - it is freaking me out.

I'm off to find a sock to stick in the mouth of that internal scream, or to look at the beautiful moon. Whichever comes first.