australian idol baby

Where there's a will there's a way, or so the saying goes. I'm trying to put the wisdom of this to good effect for starring on Australian Idol. (Drat those idol delusions - I just can't seem to put them to bed)

I'm two years over the magical cut off age, so there'll be no fair dinkum competition from me, but I think I might have discovered a loop hole that could see me going all the way to the Opera House to perform in Australian Idol - the 'My Mum Rocks' comp.

It's easy. If you think your mum can sing, you nominate her (or does she nominate herself, because that would be even better?!), she has a sing-off with a gaggle of other mothers in the local shopping centre before the best mama heads to Sydney to perform at the final. Perfect plan, no?!

I figure I have a year to produce a child in order to qualify for the 'mum' bit for 2008 and then I'll be set. OK, maybe two years in order for the child prodigy to master the computer skills necessary to enter me. Oh alright. Five years.

I really do need to deal with those delusions after all - it is painfully obvious that this plan won't work either.

I will settle for my small life.
I will settle for my small life.
I will settle for my small life.
I will settle for my small life.

Oh what a load of bollocks! I like my life. I like being me. I am happy to remain small and inconsequential but real, for this is of more value than fame and fortune.

But doesn't Australian Idol play on all those base instincts of ours? Pride, delusions of grandeur, self absorption. (Keep thinking like this and might be able to kill the desire for Idol fame once and for all)

UPDATE: My Mum emailed me yesterday and said that as she read this she was imaging me nominating her for the "My Mum Rocks" competition. She even sounded excited by the prospect. So I'm not the only one harbouring delusions of grandeur!