Tuesday, November 22, 2011


First rule of counselling: no more 'should's. Help the client become free of the weight of 'I should have, I should be, I should do...'

OK, it might not be the first rule, but it is a good one. And it's one I should learn better myself!

I bumped into a friend I haven't seen for a long time today and was all babbling apology for not being in touch, blah, blah, blah. She pointed out that she has not been in touch with me either. Life is busy and time races away. C'est la vie.

It got me thinking about how much time I spend thinking 'should this, should that'... that would be most of the time. Whether it's wanting the house tidier, or more vegetables in the garden, or thinking I should start cooking earlier, or any of the other 101 things I let bother me, there's always something niggling away at the back of my mind. A constant pressure on myself to perform, be, do.

I need to take the spiritual director's advice and just. stop. thinking. Incessant thinking. Like a dog with a bone, as one friend said. It's who I am to notice everything that's going on everywhere nearly all the time, with an accompanying running commentary in my head. Without turning my brain off, I'm not sure how to stop that. I need to though! The whole thing wearies me.

{small voice in the night: letting perfectionism slip would be a help!}

And so I have another 'should' to add to the list. I should ditch should. Sigh.


At 10:34 pm, November 22, 2011, Blogger Bill Jennings said...

thanks cecily... great post

At 10:06 am, November 23, 2011, Blogger Ruth Amos said...

Moz won't let me say 'should' any more. If it slips into the conversation he stops me straight away and I need to phrase it differently - would like to, it would be good if etc. It's amazing the difference that makes!


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